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A Kansas man is suing the Kansas City Royals organization for pain and suffering.

It’s not what you think, every Royals fan endures pain and suffering these days, and if all of them filed lawsuits there wouldn’t be a ball club left to feel sad about.

John Coomer is seeking more than $25,000 for injuries he sustained on September 8, 2009 when he was smoked in the eye with a hot dog chucked by the team’s mascot, Sluggerrr, whose mother never taught him not to play with his food. Apparently, the wiener caused a detached retina which developed into cataracts in his left eye.

Now, poor Sluggerrr is out of a job.  In the state of our country’s economy, where the hell is a big fluffy lion wearing a Royals jersey supposed to get work? Come on, his only qualifications are pepping up crowds and operating a t-shirt/hot dog launcher. It’s really an unfortunate state of affairs.

I’m not sure if the club should fork over an amount that resembles their entire payroll, but the least they could do is pay for Coomer’s medical marijuana. Or maybe that’s glaucoma… either way this dude needs to relax.