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Added November 2nd, 2009 by Sooze

Performance Enhancers In Golf: Funny

Golf is widely recognized as the one sport most of our fathers and grandfathers continued to play once all those years of extra butter on the potatoes combined with a few beers with the boys here and there began to add up. The reality is, you can be a total fatass and still play golf.

Prime example: John Daly.

Honestly, I have to chuckle at the thought of performance-enhancing drugs in the PGA. You think Angel Cabrera and Phil Mickelson are on steroids? That’s doubtful. It’s just not necessary. Tiger Woods is ridiculously ripped  because all he does is swing golf clubs and pump iron. He probably eats pretty healthy too, which in itself aids the body in speedy recovery from injuries.

However, there are guys like Doug Barron who think they need an edge to compete. Instead of practicing harder and relying on a healthy diet to become a better player, the American journeyman made history by becoming the first golfer to be banned for taking a performance-enhancing drug.

“I would like to apologise for any negative perception of the Tour or its players resulting from my suspension,” he said. “I want my fellow Tour members and the fans to know that I did not intend to gain an unfair competitive advantage or enhance my performance while on Tour.”

Barron, who has played eight full seasons on the PGA Tour — most recently in 2006, was suspended for an entire year for violating their anti-doping policy, which went into effect last July. Sanctions include fines of up to $500,000,  one-year suspensions for a first violation, up to five years for a second violation, and life-time bans in the case of multiple violations.

Barron, if you’re really that crappy of a golfer, you just don’t belong on the Tour. Instead of cheating, and embarrassing yourself and your family, just call it quits and enjoy the memories like everyone else with a gut and stories from the “good old days.”

Related posts:

  1. Golf Betting: Viking Classic
  2. Kerr Wins LPGA In “Obscene” Tiger-esque Fashion
  3. Tiger Back On Top (For One Day At Least)
  4. Is John Daly… Kinda Hot?
  5. Garrigus Blows 3-Shot Lead On 18th, Westwood Wins Playoff

 
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