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Added July 26th, 2012 by Chalk
NFL

Panthers Center Guarantees Super Bowl In Newspaper Ad

The Carolina Panthers are going to win Super Bowl XLVII, at least according to Panthers center Ryan Kalil who took out a full-page ad in a Charlotte newspaper to announce his team’s coming championship. Oddsmakers are still skeptical and have the Panthers, who went 6-10 last season, at 35/1 odds to win their first Super Bowl in the franchise’s lackluster history.

Kalil later told the same paper that the idea came to him when he couldn’t sleep, and feel simply too big for Twitter.  “It was one of those things I was literally up all night and I was thinking about it, and just went to my computer and started writing,” said the lineman, who found he enjoyed the full-page ad medium since it “wasn’t paraphrased or restricted to 140 characters.” You can see the full, wordy text of the ad here.

Kalil will like be roundly mocked for his bold announcement, although it might be so absurd that few take it seriously. One writer in Detroit is already calling on members of the Lions to follow suit and encouraging them to call his paper for advertising rates.

Maybe having Cam Newton’s hands between his legs so often has gone to Kalil’s head. The Panthers are in a tough division with the Atlanta Falcons, suspension-burdened New Orleans Saints and consistently mediocre Tampa Bay Buccaneers. He really should be happy if they can just get to 8-8, but that kind of prediction would hardly be national news.

 
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