Some people never learn.

Former All-Star pitcher Edinson Volquez was suspended for 50 games by Major League Baseball on Tuesday after he was busted for taking a banned fertility substance.

The Cincinnati Reds reliever, who is recovering  from reconstructive elbow surgery, will (surprisingly) be allowed to continue his rehab program down at the team’s spring training complex in Goodyear, Arizona.  He’s expected to rejoin the team in late July or early August.

Volquez, the first moron suspended for a banned performance substance since Manny Ramirez was penalized 50 games last May, claimed in a statement that he received a prescription in the Dominican Republic so he could make some Edinson Juniors with his wife.

“Although I understand that I must accept responsibility for this mistake and have chosen not to challenge my suspension,” he said, ”I want to assure everyone that this was an isolated incident involving my genuine effort to treat a common medical issue.”

With more than five months of baseball left to play, it’s hard to make any sudden judgements on any one team’s season. 

However, it’s still pretty fun for Tampa Bay Rays fans to watch their team sweep the AL East rival Boston Red Sox.  At Fenway Park, no less, a first for Tampa.

Monday’s 8-2 victory marked the 10-3 Rays’ seventh in a row – all on the road –  which matches the team record for their longest winning streak away from Tropicana Field.

Meanwhile, the 4-9 Sox lost their sixth straight at home, which is their longest losing streak at Fenway since a 12-game skid back in 1994.  For the series, Boston finished an unsightly 0-for-30 with runners in scoring position.

“It’s kind of weird that nothing is going our way,” said Victor Martinez. “Every team we play, it keeps falling their way.”

Jorge Cantu extended his major league season-opening record to 10 games with a hit and an RBI Thursday night, with a double to right-center in the fifth inning of his Florida Marlins 10-2 win over the Cincinnati Reds.

The third baseman tied the Marlins’ single-season record for consecutive games with a hit and an RBI, set last season by teammate and badass shortstop Hanley Ramirez. Including last season, Cantu has 14 straight games with a hit and a run batted in, which marks the longest string since Mike Piazza went 15 straight from June 14 – July 2, 2000.

Before Cantu’s streak to open 2010, the previous big league record for having at least one hit and one RBI in every game to start the season had been eight, set back in 1921 by George Kelly of the New York Giants, just one year after the RBI became an official statistic.

I’ve always liked Carlos Quentin… when he’s healthy and not throwing a temper tantrum.  Before going down with an unfortunate, self-inflicted wrist injury in 2008, he nailed 36 homers and 100 RBI in just 480 at-bats.  Tha’s enough to be called “awesome” in my book.

Though the likelihood of him reproducing those numbers is fairly slim, he’s still a solid player, and he’s totally healthy right now.  Plus, he’s pretty adorable when he bites the lumber. 

The Chicago White Sox outfielder clobbered Brandon Morrow, powering his team past the Toronto Blue Jays on Wednesday with a grand slam and six RBI during the 11-1 rout.